The Mirror Pool/Indus

Listening To: this hideous year slowly grinding over into next year
Reading: Woody Allen. Again.

winter solstice, i always feel, could be summed up by the colours grey and white, and whatever colour that strange bleak feeling is that you get while looking at a leafless tree branch against a light sky (a sort of grey-ey brown, i think). i'm celebrating it while the folks are out of the house by listening to Dead Can Dance, looking at our spectacular christmas tree lights wink on and off, and occasionally playing Assassin's Creed on the Xbox. all this while the dog sleeps peacefully on the chair. i don't get many perfect moments nowadays, but this could be one.

in other news, i've been smokeless for nearly 14 days now (except for two half-tabs in the first 7 days, which do not count, as all fiendish nicotine addicts will agree with - it's really not the same. no, really. you can't reset your quitting date every time you have a small setback, otherwise you'd just start smoking 20 a day again out of sheer frustration) and (sorry for that really long bracket-based interlude) i sort of feel good for it. thank god for the flu - i was so sick i went through withdrawal without a moment's discomfort, although it was probably part of why i was so sick. but i do feel cleaner, and i feel psychologically healthier for it, and i'd rather not go back on myself if i can help it - this is something i've wanted to do for no little time. soon, i plan to cut back on drinking (which luckily won't be too much of an issue as i don't drink all that often, although when i do, i kinda make up for it) and naturally, i plan on some sort of more rigid fitness regime once i've stopped chewing at the wallpaper out of boredom.

during all this, i'm going to throw myself back into Zen practice... and come the new year i may dig out that Soto group in Heaton. or i may not. i'm more of a Steven Seagal-esque maverick, lone-wolf Buddhist, who doesn't play by anyone's rules. not even her own.

ah, and now my favourite track is on so i'm going to go listen to it and ignore that particular part of my head that wants me to light up a cigarette to it.

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little: christmas tree.
Snuffling Up: the scent of christmas tree.
Wrenching: the dog away from the christmas tree.